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Sad this morning

December 2nd, 2009 at 01:49 pm

I just had a phone conversation with my sister, who flew back to her home yesterday. No, I'm not sad because I miss her. I'm sad because I worry about her.

She is utterly clueless about money. This morning she told me that their check for their new water heater bounced for the second time, because Google has taken money from their bank account. Of course it is not Google, and she now realizes that the "make money at home" plan she signed up for has nothing to do with Google and everything to do with getting scammed.

The bounced check is just a drop in the bucket compared to all their other financial woes. I have really tried to help her learn what to do, but she resisted (even bought a new couch on the sly while I was supposedly helping her track her spending). Then she bought a fourth dog (although they clearly can't handle the three they already have -- physically or financially). So about a month ago I wrote her a note that I was backing off and letting her handle her finances herself, that she would help herself when she was ready, yada yada yada.

They have been on the brink of losing their home twice and I am afraid that homeless is inevitable for them.

But I love her, and she has many good qualities, so I can't just write her off. So I'm sad this morning.

Thanks for letting me vent....

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Sad this morning”

  1. LuxLiving Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 01:51 pm 1259761904
    1259761904

    It's tough.

    I have an older brother who is fiscally & emotionally irresponsible.

    God bless you for being there to help her when she allows it.

  2. momcents Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 01:56 pm 1259762162
    1259762162


    Oh, hwo hard it is to see people who can be helped if "only they'd listen". It must be ten times worse when it is a blood relative. I worry about my best friend that I've had for 25+ years. She always complains but then offers excuses as to why she is financially where she is. You are a good sister to worry so.

  3. ceejay74 Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 03:13 pm 1259766801
    1259766801

    I sympathize. AS's parents are similarly clueless about money, especially her mom, who was always cashing in her 401(k) for emergencies, and now that they're separated, she's left with virtually nothing while the dad's retirement is sitting pretty (army pension). I bet she's even too clueless to properly divorce and get a decent settlement.

    At least you tried to help. We've been too scared to delve into it. AS loves her mom, but we can't be party to the sucking black hole of their finances, or we'd be lost ourselves.

  4. Broken Arrow Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 03:32 pm 1259767935
    1259767935

    Uh wow, that IS sad... in more ways than one.

  5. Analise Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 03:56 pm 1259769368
    1259769368

    Your sister's situation is very sad, and it's hard for you to sit by and watch it all unravel. Your sister will have to learn the hard way. But you can always be there with love and moral support when she needs it. She won't really change until she really understands she has a serious problem.

    My stepdaughter is like your sister... clueless about money, but also a spendthrift, and my dh just keeps bailing her out which only reinforces the behaviors.

  6. Ima saver Says:
    December 2nd, 2009 at 04:27 pm 1259771273
    1259771273

    I have a friend that will not learn to manage her finances. She says she has no money to manage. It is hard to sit back and watch friends and family who won't even try.

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