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Christmas Thoughts

November 9th, 2017 at 05:08 am

Yesterday I went back to the gym after a brief hiatus, and it felt good. Afterwards I went to Panera and got a bagel. I thought I had to make only one more visit to qualify for a free "Pick2" Then I got an email saying I only had to make 2 more visits. Huh.

I took a different route home along the lake shore and listened to Christmas music on the radio. It was a happy ride.

I'm struggling with what to do over the holidays. I know I'm going to my brother's for Thanksgiving, but Christmas is a big question mark. My grandson let slip yesterday that my son & DIL are planning to go to Florida, which means they will celebrate with my ex's family. Even if invited, I don't want to have Christmas there -- I had enough miserable Christmases with that crowd when I was still married. Besides, it would be very expensive.

I also don't want to go to my brother's, as their Christmases always focus around my SIL's family. Another (expensive) option would be to go to my Florida son's, but he is likely to be involved with my ex-family, too, as well as hosting my DIL's family.

Basically, I feel like being the outsider in any setting will feel worse than being alone. I know a lot of people think spending Christmas alone is a terrible thing, but it is something I am considering. I have done it before, when plans had to be cancelled at the last minute due to weather. It wasn't terrible.

I think, if I spent Christmas alone, I would work out a way to make it meaningful.

I'm thinking about Christmas because I spent a big chunk of time yesterday going through my gift stash and wrapping gifts. Whatever happens, I want to be done in time to mail gifts, if I have to.

My BFF is planning to come up tomorrow for a short visit. I hope she really will, because there is a forecast for snow, and she is a very fearful traveler.

11 Responses to “Christmas Thoughts”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    I think being alone on Christmas can be meaningful if you set that intention. I hope you can find to celebrate before of after with family, too. It doesn't have to be 'on the day'.

  2. TurtleLover Says:

    I usually spend Christmas alone watching Christmas movies and eating junk food.
    I find it very relaxing. My family does Thanksgiving and my mom used to work on Christmas... so I would always take that as a "me" day. Sometimes people would invite me to go with them because they feel sorry for me being alone... the times I have gone with
    somebody else I just wished I was at home. It doesn't mean that I'm bah-humbug just means that I enjoy my peaceful day.

  3. AnotherReader Says:

    You were going full tilt for the last two or three months helping C and the family. C's death was emotionally exhausting as well. In your shoes, I would find things, like seeing BFF, that both reestablish the old routine and bring you enjoyment. Christmas is still six weeks away, and you may feel better about it as it gets closer and you recover.

    BTW, you did an amazing job. C was very lucky to have you care for both her and the family.

  4. MonkeyMama Says:

    I think Christmas alone is fine. It's only terrible if you think it's terrible. Wink

  5. rob62521 Says:

    My heart goes out to you, CB. First of all, I totally get the miserable holidays spent with the ex's family. Every holiday was given priority with DH"s family and I always felt like mine was second best, no matter what. My mil was no saint and she treated me like crap because she didn't want her son to ever get married, but to be at her beck and call. I think you can make it a meaningful day even if it is one you don't spend with family. Do you have friends who will not be with family either?

  6. snafu Says:

    Thank you for your most difficult love and care of C. When our kids were teens we made it a point to get on the list too serve Christmas Dinner at one of the larger shelters. It was a lot of fun, laughter, singing and joy. You can have a wonderful time if you wish.

  7. Carol Says:

    One of my best Christmas' was with a friend.( My kids were each away.) We cooked a feast for ourselves and then went to the movies! No gifts. Lots of fun!!
    Make a choice that seems like fun for you. Certainly don't spend money to travel for an experience that you think will be miserable.

  8. Dido Says:

    I often spend Christmas alone. A day without any obligations whatsoever can be very peaceful, as long as you have a way to make the day meaningful for yourself and feel like it's your choice. I love to spend the week between Christmas & New Year's reviewing the old year and planning for the next year and Christmas kicks off the process.

  9. livingalmostlarge Says:

    So my parents are spending thanksgiving alone just the two of them. They were invited to spend it with my siblings or myself. But they are choosing to not be with any of their children. My mom needs the break to be alone. I think if she was by herself she might be with my family but they are coming for Christmas and then they want to be alone for new years. Would my mom be alone? I don't know but she has been before and she says they are tired.

  10. My English Castle Says:

    I've spent some lovely holidays by myself. I prescribe little treats and lovely food. Buy yourself some Christmas indulgences--fancy fruit, bakery dessert, your favorite entrees and veggies. Think about movies you might like to rent and have a stack of books. If the weather is ok, a holiday walk somewhere pretty can be so nice too.

  11. PatientSaver Says:

    I very much understand what you're saying. Sometimes as singles we have to make more effort to plan out holidays, and sometimes the alternatives don't seem that great. I've been wondering what to do about both Tgiving and Christmas. Last year I was at my cousin's in NJ for Tgiving and it was very nice, but I'm so tired of the daily commute and racing around and neglecting Luther that I would really like to just stay home or stay local this year. But I know I will feel lonely by myself. I thought about making myself a nice dinner, but I wo't have any time to do that either! I hope you do what feels right for you.

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