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Unreasonably bummed

September 20th, 2010 at 02:15 pm

I got some pictures in my email this morning showing the dresses the mother of the bride and the stepmother of the groom will be wearing. They are both full-length, very dressy, very formal. And I was told it was definitely NOT formal. In the reasonable part of my mind, I am pretty sure that they didn't really mean to snooker me, but I feel snookered just the same.

At the same time, I personally do not want to be that gussied up, and I like my plain Jane dress better.

I REALLY don't want to pay for another dress! Or look for one!

But I don't want to feel dowdy at the wedding either, or have my son thinking I don't compare to his mother-in-law ... or stepmother.


I'm also bummed because I recently had to raid my savings to send my sister money to travel for the wedding. I had already promised to do this, as part of my wedding contribution, but it is so costly. Airfares were more than $350, so we decided to go with car rental, which should be covered by $300. (She'll pay for the gas.)

If I hadn't bought a computer this month, I could have covered the car rental without tapping into savings, but c'est la vie. You can't plan these things.

Suddenly I'm not feeling like it's so important to go to Europe.

8 Responses to “Unreasonably bummed”

  1. MonkeyMama Says:

    I wouldn't worry so much about the groom's family. They want to dress up, so be it. (Maybe easier said than done, but I don't think anyone else will give it a second thought).

    My MIL is one of those people who is always sizing herself up against others. She was going on and on and on about the mother of the groom's dress when her daughter got married. In a very snide way about how inappropriate her dress was. I didn't think much about it at the time (eh, who cares, it's a dress), but it hadn't occured to me that she probably felt upset that the groom's mother was trying to outdo her or something - with her full length gown. Certainly nothing that any of us in our family would wear to a wedding, but to each their own. His parents are just that way - very flashy. I would stay true to yourself. I am sure your dess is beautiful!

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    I say wear the dress you have or at least find a dress that would compliment their dresses at a consignment shop or online! I would think years from now you would enjoy Europe far more than a dress you wore to the wedding.

  3. Analise Says:

    CB: I have a beautiful long dress I wore for my daughter's wedding that I would gladly give to you. If you are interested, email me at: ff2bme@clearwire.net

    I will email you the details re: size, color, and a photo (I received many compliments on it). I will happily give you the dress if you want it. It's a shame that these dresses cost so much and you never wear them again.

  4. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    The most beautiful dress I have ever seen in my life was worn by a mother-of-the-groom. It probably cost a king's ransom. It was a dazzling work of art. It could have been in an art museum. The bride and groom were from different worlds and their mothers simply reflected that. All was well as far as I could tell. It is said, though, that no-one should outdress the bride. Could these other two be in danger of that?

  5. CB in the City Says:

    No danger of outdoing the bride. She is a beautiful girl and will be wearing a strapless champagne gown with sequins and full skirt. She will be stunning.

    I'm checking out Annalise's dress and I'm also going downtown to look at a consignment shop. Right now, in fact!

  6. Jerry Says:

    I think this comes from different people having different mental descriptions of what "formal" entails, and that can really lead to some confusion in times like this! I think that you will find a way to work it o

  7. Jerry Says:

    I think this comes from different people having different mental descriptions of what "formal" entails, and that can really lead to some confusion in times like this! I think that you will find a way to work it out. I think it is so generous that people reach out with offers of help like the one above, that is so cool... it's some insurance that the whole world isn't a mess, I guess! =)

  8. Jerry Says:

    Oi! Sorry for the double-whammy, there!

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