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Missed the Train Again

July 30th, 2014 at 01:34 pm

So it's another day of wasted gas. I woke up with the alarm this morning, but closed my eyes for a minute ... by the time that "minute" was over, it was only one-half hour till the train was scheduled to leave the station. I did my best, but did not make it. So I drove again. Taking a later train is not a good option; it makes me two hours late because of lag time at the downtown station.

I had a long, wakeful period in the middle of the night. For some reason I was re-hashing my life and all the bad choices I made and all the grievances I've had. I don't know why I get into jags like that. Today, in the cold light of day, I am fine with the past and just glad I made the best of things. My screen saver has the saying, "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well." That's my mantra! I'm determined to play this hand well, no matter what I was dealt.

But it seems it does bother me in the midnight hours.

This probably all stems from having made plans to visit an old professor of mine next month. I wish I had better things to tell him! Suddenly, I am so aware of all my failures -- all the disappointments and setbacks since college days. I thought I had the world by the tail back then!

But I can't deny that I have learned so many life lessons, and I am probably a better person because of my trials than I would have been with an easier life. So I just need to let it go, and take pride in who I've become.

Sorry, very philosophical this morning! More coffee is needed....

6 Responses to “Missed the Train Again”

  1. laura Says:

    I love, love, love your screen saver quote!

    Have your coffee and enjoy today! (said as someone who just left her own sporadic pity party). Smile

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    Great mantra!

  3. Stephanie Says:

    This comment isn't on point. Just wanted to let you know that I have enjoyed reading your blogs. I also appreciate you listing on the left hand column the books your are reading. You have introduced me to some new authors. Thank you!

  4. My English Castle Says:

    Maybe we should have a 3am blog for those of us in this place! My former office mate used to send me 3am e-mails just in case I was up and brooding too. We'd go out for a very early breakfast, and it felt so naughty that it was fabulous.

    And you know, being around professors all day, most of them are hardly flying high. The guy in the next office is a Harvard grad, widely published, great family, and chronically restless about his life choices. I'm with Stephanie; I always like seeing what you're reading and what you're up to!

  5. CB in the City Says:

    Thanks to all of you! You've made me feel better!

  6. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I've been having some of those restless nights too lately going over choices I've made. I'll have to keep your mantra in my head.

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