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Christmas Plans

November 16th, 2019 at 03:53 pm

Well, being stuck at home does make it less likely that I will spend! I spent $3 on laundry yesterday, and that's it.

Christmas this year is turning into a problem. My local kids are going to Florida in order to visit some cousins they don't get to see often. I won't be part of that, as it's my ex's family and they are too toxic for me! My Oregon son will be in Oregon, and his wife and kids will fly up for the holiday (as they will still be living in Florida to sell the house.) Plus her parents will fly there. I was invited, when I asked about it, but there will be no room (DS will still be in temporary housing), and I can't afford it anyway.

My brother celebrates with his wife's family, and I don't want to be part of their crazy scene either! My sister -- well, I could drive out to NC, but frankly, the way she lives is so depressing I can't do it. (Hoarder, overspender, five untrained dogs in a townhouse, disabled husband -- you get the picture.)

Friends, of course, are all involved with their families. Sigh.

I am thinking of doing a DIY one-day retreat at home. I'm reading up on the concept, and I like the idea of it. Mainly, it's a day of intentional reflection and relaxation, doing kind things for yourself and turning off the outside world. I know that sounds odd since Christmas is a time of communion with others, but, to me, being on the fringes of someone else's celebration is depressing, not uplifting.

I'm kind of excited thinking about planning it!

I was tentatively planning a small trip with BFF after Christmas, but her brother is in a health crisis, and she can't commit to anything at this time. And, again, I really can't afford it right now, anyway.

On to today's plans -- I'm making a veggie scramble from leftovers. It's going to be very diverse -- potatoes, onions, peppers, green beans, carrots, squash and mushrooms! Plus, I'm throwing a little cheese in there. I've been chopping this morning, and at noon I'll saute it all in a little olive oil. Hope it's good!

And I'm going to make an inventory list for my freezer. I just have a small freezer on top of my fridge, but I do lose track of its contents. I'm going to make a list and post it on the door -- cross off things as I use them and add them as I put them in. I was inspired by Lucky Robin's freezer organization!

Also, if I feel energetic, I'll put up the Christmas tree. All the boxes are in my dining room and I'm tired of walking around them.

I got a call from my dealer that the manual is in. I will catch a bus on Monday to get it, probably make a library stop as well. I don't expect the car to be ready before Wednesday, and from past experience, it always takes longer than they say.

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Christmas Plans”

  1. Lots of Ideas Says:
    November 16th, 2019 at 05:20 pm 1573924849
    1573924849

    CB I too do not like being ‘on the fringe’ at the holidays. I did not marry or have children, and, although I have family who includes and welcomes me, it is a difficult time of year. I think the holidays are hard for most everyone over the age of 7 or 8 most years - not enough time, or money, or thoughts of loss and loneliness and other family stress. I am not religious, but I try to focus on the ideas of peace and love that the season should represent, with a sense of ‘this too shall pass’. And to have rituals that only require me to complete them.

    I congratulate you for raising two children who do not feel ‘obligated’ to include you in their plans. You obviously have many many happy family times and that you give them space for other obligations is a wonderful gift.

    I suggest including a walk in your retreat day plans, and also perhaps dedicate an hour or two to listening to music that you love.

  2. Jenn Says:
    November 17th, 2019 at 03:14 am 1573960489
    1573960489

    I like your retreat idea - I'm a busy introvert so the thought of quiet alone time sounds wonderful.

    Other ideas are attending a.Christmas church service (or Christmas Eve), and volunteering to serve that day at a soup kitchen.

  3. mumof2 Says:
    November 17th, 2019 at 12:09 pm 1573992561
    1573992561

    You could always volunteer for the homeless for a few hours and help others out then have your retreat...

  4. creditcardfree Says:
    November 17th, 2019 at 01:00 pm 1573995632
    1573995632

    So wise of you to make the plans for Christmas that will be meaningful to you on that day or the days surrounding it. I'm sorry it looks different this year, but I know that your attitude surrounding it will make all the difference.

  5. Laura Says:
    November 17th, 2019 at 06:25 pm 1574015125
    1574015125


    My mother was lamenting about holidays past that were so happy. My kids were little, my grandparents were alive, my brother wasnt' divorced and remarried. Now I only visit on Eve and host on Xmas Day. My invitation is a blanket to everyone and everyone. This year its buffet style and we are eating from Chinet. I suggested she think about the Season of Christmas and ALL THAT WE STILL DO AS A FAMILY. It is hard to disappoint everyone, but my happiness is no longer a negoatiable commodity. Do you celebrate beforehand or later at a convenient time for everyone?

    Add I should add that my family includes: a biological father with the craziest of girlfriends (I mean this in the most serious of ways), a best friend with an opium-addicted toothless boyfriend, and some other loved ones who are odd). So if someone joins my party, I am also free of feeling that I have to explain who the players are. No ore excuses there either.

  6. rob62521 Says:
    November 17th, 2019 at 07:39 pm 1574019580
    1574019580

    I think doing something for yourself is really a good idea. Although I like the idea of the holidays, when the actual day comes, I'm sort of ashamed to admit, I sort of feel down. My mom was an alcoholic and growing up, a holiday was just another excuse to get drunk so that ruined whatever festivities we might have had. It usually meant an early turning in for me to escape her and her slurred speech and rants. When I married I really hoped my mother-in-law would embrace me as a mother. No, she didn't, and used Christmas as a way to find ways to fault me. As a result, the other family members were not very nice either. Well, both mothers are gone, the other relatives are hours away, so it is DH and me. And that's OK, although there are some who comment on is it just you two? I remember dreading the holidays. Now we can concentrate on meaningful worship and relaxing. When I see those movies and magazines that highlight the togetherness and how everyone should be happy, I think, not everyone has that in their lives and I think as a result it makes those of us who do not feel like we have failed and we have not.

  7. Dido Says:
    November 17th, 2019 at 08:13 pm 1574021633
    1574021633

    An intentional retreat can be quite lovely! I have been doing this off and on for over 20 years. Of course, I am Jewish, so it is not psychologically as difficult since I don't have so much tied up in Christmas memories. Since Christmas is one week before New Years, I often use it as the start of my preparation for the new year, starting with reviewing the past year.

    Holy day music and buying myself a special meal to be eaten on the day also helps.

  8. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    November 20th, 2019 at 12:59 am 1574211570
    1574211570

    Some of my favorite Christmases have been where I volunteered to serve others for part of the day. My DH isn't into that .. so for us its pretty much a normal day where we both have a day off.

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