To my surprise, I got my second installment property tax bill yesterday. Somehow I didn't notice that it didn't come in September, and, in my mind, I was all done with taxes for the year. It made me blue, coming when I am already stressed about Christmas. It is $505. Much less than some people pay, because I have a senior exemption, senior freeze, and homestead exemption. Without those, it would have been $2889!
I believe I can charge it, and that's what I'll do, come the 11th when my Discover card begins a new cycle. That will help. My December budget is on life support. Making that payment in January would be much better.
I'm also considering not making my annual Christmas donations to my grandkids' college funds. Just not at this time, that is. It would make sense for me to make these gifts along with birthdays rather than Christmas, thus spreading out the cost. And it would delay that cost to September, the first birthday in the group. Of course, I can make the gifts any time I want, but it's nice to link it to an occasion. Even though the kids don't really notice! The parents do. I have to think about it, especially since the November birthdays kind of fall into the Christmas rush, anyway. And it would essentially be skipping a year, which I don't really like to do.
December 4th, 2022 at 08:31 pm 1670185893
Perhaps because I do not have children, I look at things from the position of the child rather than a parent.
I would have been very distressed if my mother went without to give to me and my (theoretical) children, or felt stress because of what she couldn’t do.
My mother’s situation was similar to yours - divorced with young children to raise, trying to sustain a similar standard of living with less resources. She was pretty open about the financial situation, so our expectations were in line with what she could provide.
In later years, my brother and I were able to help her financially without strain and so she had a level of financial security then that she went without for a long time. I wonder if you are struggling to meet expectations that either aren’t there or shouldn’t be?
I live frugally - I hate wasting money - so to the extent that you are pleased by what your sacrifices allow then of course you should maintain them. But before you beat yourself up about what you can’t do, or eat in a less than healthy way so that you can give more, maybe spend some time as you plan next year to think about the ‘why’ of your choices.
I know your ex does a lot financially, but I bet your sons and grandsons know how much you love them without you spending a dime.
Anyway, do hat makes you happy…
December 4th, 2022 at 08:57 pm 1670187472
December 5th, 2022 at 01:52 am 1670205175
As for the donations to the college funds, that is important to me. I didn't get much help myself, when I went to college, and when my sons were in college times were hard, and I couldn't help them. Now I can give a little to my grandchildren, and I simply want to. It's not much. I wouldn't do anything to harm my well-being. And there are no expectations. If I said tomorrow I can't do it anymore, my kids would only be concerned for me.
I hope I haven't led people astray with my $100 grocery challenge. It is a challenge, not a necessity. It makes me feel good, not like I'm sacrificing.