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It's Done

February 8th, 2023 at 12:37 pm

I traded in my Kia Soul yesterday and bought a 2021 Toyota Corolla. My ex came with me and insisted that he was going to help out financially. I was in no position to argue. (Though I did.) In the end, I contributed $6,000 in cash and the $7,200 value of the trade-in. He paid for the rest of it, and I'm embarrassed to say how much that was. I told him I would pay him back, as I was able, and he said he didn't want me to.

Some history here -- when we divorced, he was so besotted with his new love that he had no regard for what was going to happen to me. He did everything he could to limit child support (there was no alimony), and all his energy seemed to go toward impressing my replacement and lavishing her with gifts. In the following years, his income skyrocketed while I struggled for every penny, and he seemed to be completely blind to that. He made many comments that indicated he thought we lived similar lives.

Fast forward to now -- he is no longer besotted with his new love and other family members tell me he has cheated on her several times. Big surprise. Not. But his attitude toward me has changed, and he has given me money for several home repairs in the past few years -- and now this. I do think he is trying to make amends, but he is not able to say he's sorry. He's just that limited in character. But I will take the money, even though it is uncomfortable, because I think I've earned it. And because I was in a bind, and this needed to be done.

I have some work to do to build back my savings. I will do it, bit by bit.

Some short-range challenges -- my phone holder doesn't fit, so I'm going to have to figure that out. And I can't figure out where to put the charging cord. Bluetooth is a mystery to me. I'm hoping my son can help me with the technical issues.

Today is a grocery shopping day, but I have enough food on hand and I'm going to defer it as long as I can.

8 Responses to “It's Done”

  1. Turtle Lover Says:

    Enjoy your new car as it is a blessing 💗 I hope the thieves stay away! 🙏

  2. Lots of ideas Says:

    It is generous of you to allow your ex husband to try to make amends in what for him is the easy way of writing a check.

    Your continued independence is a gift to your children who would surely feel the need to assist you if you needed it.

    You are also generous to participate in family events, not forcing your sons and grandchildren to constantly choose between their parents.

    You can stand proud for your sweet and forgiving nature which improves the lives of those you love.

  3. Petunia 100 Says:

    Toyota Corollas are great cars! Enjoy. Smile
    Your ex can afford to chip in towards your car and he offered. You are the mother of his children, whom you struggled to provide for without much help. IMO, there is no reason you should not accept his gift.

  4. terri77 Says:

    Congrats on your new car! My first 2 cars were Corollas & I loved them.

  5. LuckyRobin Says:

    I found a video for the USB charging port. It said it was for the 2021 model. Try going to the left side of your glove box, right on the crack. Slide your hand down an inch and start moving towards the steering wheel. The USB charging port should be two or three inches over. It's just under the curve so you don't see it. Dumb place to put it if you ask me. If you have a power socket that looks like the hole for a cigarette lighter, you can also buy an adapter to use in it that isn't so awkward. We have one that lets you plug in two cables at the same time. We don't have a charging port, though. Our van is too old for that.

  6. mumof2 Says:

    Congrats on the newer car...that is nice of him to help out...even if he can't say sorry his actions are speaking for allow him to help you when he can.

  7. CB in the City Says:

    Thank you all for your support. LR, thanks for the info about the charging port. I found it!

  8. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    Congrats on the new car. Take the gift. because it may not be amends but maybe it's just paying forward all his good fortune to a person who is very kind (you!). You deserve everything that comes.

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